Shayna's Stupid Ideas

I feel awful! Why the heck am I up so early? I woke up at 8:30 and had a last breakfast gathering with my suitemates. Personally, i hate breakfast food. Especially sweet syrupy stuff like pancakes and waffles. anyway, i cant believe im procrastinating. I've been studying for the past 1 and half! It sucks! I'm too tired to study. I think i need to take a nap or something. I MISS LADY!!!!! 

I've been looking at wedding dresses for the past 2 hrs or so. They're all so pretty! I have to have at least 3 weddings! I'm going to end up with maybe 4 dresses. One for the white traditional wedding in America and Nigeria. Then a traditional nigerian wedding in nigeria. Also, I'll have a different wedding dress during the reception, just for the heck of it. Of course, im going to need a really rich husband. I should go to bed, though. I'm supposed to get up early and have a last breakfast meal with my suitemates. It's soooo sad! Haley is leaving us! (she's one of my suitemates who is really nice and extremely, annoyingly smart, and also health conscious). I smell like popcorn. ive been eating that for the past hour or so.

I knew i had a fear of public speaking, but i never realized it was so bad! This tuesday--that was 3 days ago, i think--I had to say a speech for my Rhetoric class. Thank God its only a 1 credit pass/fail class! Anyway, i chose to talk about the disturbing amount of dead mothers in Disney and how in actuality, Disney is celebrating motherhood instead of ignoring their role. I ended up writing a really messed up speech. I was trying to say my speech without reading from anything, so i didnt really put any effort in writing it. When I got up in front of everyone, i ended up saying only a quarter of what i was supposed to have said. I felt so nervous! my heart was pounding, and I was sweating, and my voice felt like it was going to quaver! I was practically on the verge of tears! Even worse, I kept apologizing to everyone and I said , "I'm sorry" like 2 times! I had no confidence whatsoever! I need to figure out a way to talk in public. This is way too embarrassing. I can't even do taekwondo forms in public without getting nervous.